I was reading this morning…not something I usually do in the morning. I have decided though that if I am to get through a book in a rewpectable amount of time, I’m going to have to read in the morning as well as at night (when sleep seems to take over so easily.)

Anyway…I am reading “my sister’s keeper” by Jodi Picoult and was only in the second chapter when I read something that I identified with so completely I just had to blog about it. (Don’t worry Beth…I have inner blog dialogue too.)

In the second chapter the mom is talking about how she went to school to be a lawyer and how she gave that up to be a mom…and how she is much better at being a mother than she ever would have beeen as a lawyer, and she wonders if it is just her, or if there are other women who figure out where they are supposed to be by going nowhere…
Ok…so I know this is just fiction…but this is my life.

When I left graduate school, I was afraid of a life with little purpose…but youth directing seemed like a good fit, so I tried to find purpose in that…and in the next string of jobs I had…and it truly wasn’t until I had Ellie that I feel i found my “calling” if you will. As far back as I think, I can only remember dreaming of a future as a mom…sure, careers entered my mind as something I would like to try…but nothing ever seemed to stick – probably much to the dismay of my family at times. And, sure, there are still times I wonder if Nathan and I would be better off financially if I were to have stayed and finished graduate school and become something else…but for the first time…(probably because i haven’t had time to reflect on it lately)I can say I am becoming completely at peace with our lives, and our happiness…we both have great jobs (that we love) and plenty of wonderful people that surround us…including our children…and we wouldn’t trade that for the world.

So, enough of the what if’s for the day. Today I am resolved to be completely okay with where we are.