Now, I don’t really drink…but if i wasn’t nursing my son…i would probably be an alcoholic by now. I actually told Nathan today that i may have to nurse Evan forever just to prevent myself from becoming one.

Ellie wakes up this morning, stumbles out of her room into the computer room and says to me…”mommy, where’s daddy”. I reply “at work”…meltdown #1. Perhaps I needed to say that more gently? Maybe next time I’ll try “honey, he’s at work, but don’t worry…he still loves you although he leaves you here with me during the day.”

We’re watching morning cartoons, playing with babies..and mommy is rocking baby Evan to sleep…Ellie is dancing…has to go potty. I decide not to ask her to go, after all, I won’t be around everytime she has to go. I just wait. All of a sudden, she drops everything and runs to the bathroom. Starts screaming…wet her pants….meltdown #2.

Evan, not sleeping anymore, starting meltdown #1 of his own in the crib.

Left him there, trying to find sanity of my own.

Making lunch, occassionally checking in on Ellie who is standing in a clothes basket right in front of the television. I ask her to move back…and to sit, if anything, in the clothes basket. Meltdown #3.

Evan, still on meltdown #1, but its gone on long enough to qualify now as #2. Eventually he did fall asleep…like 20 minutes before I was going to feed him.

Thank goodness for having to work, for jobs, for sanity breaks, for day care providers who like my children.