One of my favorite things about having children is their unpredictability.

We’ve all seen kids just pitching one in the store for their parents. Perhaps you cringe for that parent, having been there yourself, or perhaps you smile to yourself and think “glad I left mine at home”, and we’ve all had children say embarrassing things in public. It’s their ability to make their parent’s squirm which is the amazing feature of these little creatures. How can something half your size, or smaller, make you so uncomfortable. But what I find refreshing is the brutal honesty of them…the willingness to put it all out there, perhaps because they don’t know to be as reserved as we’ve learned to be.

I find myself laughing at the things they say. Sometimes thinking ‘where do they come up with this stuff?’ The other times I know exactly where they got it. Directly from my mouth.

Hope you enjoy some recent quips from my kids:

Often when frustrated, I’ll say a phrase i know I’m going to regret later. I try very hard to watch what I say in front of the kids. I never swear – but have occasionally used the OMG phrase, which i also try not to do. I’ve been known to use the phrase “Good Lord” quite a bit, and apparently Evan has picked up on this. Whenever he sees me getting to the point where I’d use one of these choice phrases, he’ll grab my face and say “good lord mommy??” That’s right Buddy!

Recently at his daycare, Evan was going potty, on the potty remarkably… and the teacher asked him if mommy would be happy that he had gone on the potty. He just looked at her and said “no, mommy’s angry”. I asked him about it later saying “Evan, is mommy angry.” I got “No, my mom is great.”  Now that one i’ll take…even if the kid was backpedaling.

But my favorite as of late with this kid is when he’ll ask for something and then say “you’re busy mommy?” The best is the “my mom’s busy” song. Pretty much that phrase repeated to any random tune he can sing. It’s beautiful…and amazingly i had time to sit and listen to it. Apparently at that moment, I wasn’t too busy.

Of course this isn’t reserved for just the two year old in the house. The 5 year old also has some pearls of wisdom to pass on…

Yesterday afternoon, we were driving through cedarloo and saw a guy outside little caesar’s pizza holding a sign for them and dancing. I mean really dancing. We were sitting at a red light, so i called the kids attention to it. Ellie asked “why is he dancing”. I said maybe he was cold and was trying to keep warm”. Her response “maybe he has to go potty.”

Or perhaps you’ll remember this one i posted on facebook.

On discussing age:
Ellie: “Mom, sometimes Evan crashes my kite into the sand when we fly it in the summer.”
Me: “I know honey, but this summer, he’ll be three, and maybe he’ll understand a little better”
Ellie: “He’ll be three on his birthday”
Me: “Yes. He’ll be three and you’ll be five, and I’ll be old”
Ellie: “Oh, mom…you’re already old”

I picked up Ellie from preschool one day where she was being the patient at the doctor’s office. She says to me…”mom, it was great…the doctor cut open my stomach and took out some blood”. I said “oh, thats wonderful”. She replied “yeah, he did it with his telescope.”

Hope you had a giggle at one of them. I know I did…

And remember…what isn’t embarrassing enough to kill you should at least make you laugh.