Neither will this…

I’m now down to a very attractive orthopedic hard soled shoe. Ok, it’s really quite unattractive…but after the past four months of very limited mobility, I will take it!

I’m not ashamed to admit that when I put this shoe on and was told I could drive, I cried right there in the office. It was a moment.

What a lesson in patience…What a lesson in humility…What a humbling experience.

I think I’ve gained a lot of perspective through this whole process…4 months gives you a lot of time to think. I undoubtedly will be more patient with people when they are frustrated with their own mobility issues, and I completely understand now how some elderly people feel when they’re told they cannot safely drive anymore. How hard to give up that freedom.

I’m hoping that we all take what we’ve learned from this and continue with it. The kids are amazing at getting themselves ready for school, out of pure necessity, and I am way more patient than I have ever been with them…and time schedules…when you have no control over when and where you can be, you have to learn to let it go. I’m hoping that lesson sticks around! (I think I’m a much more pleasant person now…)

And…after I quit throwing a pity party for myself, and got back to work on the diet and workout regimen, I’ve started to see better results in that department too. When I first broke myself, I decided I was going to eat whatever I wanted because it wasn’t like I could workout anyway. Silly girl…silly attitude. So, after completely letting go…I found myself 14 weeks later, 14 pounds heavier, and with pants that didn’t fit so well. (obviously)

The first of the year dawned…and I found a renewed purpose. 1) I have a goal of 307 workout days to achieve, 2) i have really cute pants that I want to fit in again, and 3) I can workout…just not like I used to.

I’m proud to say that in the past 2 weeks I’ve taken off 6 pounds of that 14…well on my way to fitting into those cute pants again.

I’m also hoping that after sitting and dreaming for 4 months about the possibilities for our house…rearrangement…what we need to get rid of…new projects…that now that I can spring (slowly spring as to not re-injure myself) into action, we can get some things accomplished around the house.

So, with the new found freedoms, and finding the girl’s lost red mittens, yesterday was a very good day! (In answer to the burning question i know you all have…yes, I bought a lottery ticket…stay tuned to find out if today is a good day too! If so…my next post could start off looking something like this:

Now wouldn’t my orthopedic shoe look sexy there??

]]> http://friesenfam.net/blog/?feed=rss2&p=1722 0 http://friesenfam.net/blog/?p=1714 http://friesenfam.net/blog/?p=1714#comments Mon, 07 Jan 2013 13:42:06 +0000 http://friesenfam.net/blog/?p=1714 Continue reading →]]>

So this past year has had some triumphs…

Warrior Dashing. Conquered.

Weight loss goal met. (and then un-met…see tribulations)

Read 52 books

Workout goal of 306 days last year met.

And some tribulations…

The broken foot. Damn the foot.

Weight gain. Sadly – with broken foot came some of that weight back. It wasn’t a lot – 10 pounds. It should not define me, right? And I’ve started combating it already!

And I’m not entirely sure I conquered the anxiety – the third and final resolution from last year – but am much better at recognizing it…and much better at dealing with it.

Overall…I guess I can’t exactly count 2012 out. This year taught me a lot. It taught me that letting go of things is okay, that letting people help you is okay (and necessary sometimes), and that what will be will be.

I’m ready to be another year older (although i look at the number 35 and wonder how that happened…) and another year wiser. I’m ready to not make the mistakes of this year over again. This of course starts with me wearing short tight pants every day of my life. Kidding – spandex looks good on some people…most of them being the under 6 sector… but I do plan on taking a little better care of myself this year.

Resolutions…yes, you know I have some

They are different this year than last…different format…different motivation…just different.

I resolve to get more sleep in 2013.

I resolve to date my children…and my husband…in 2013.

I resolve to read more non-fiction.

I resolve to try to like myself in 2013.

Oh…okay…one similar goal. Dare I say 307 days of workout?

I’m realizing today that I’m going to have to ask for way more help than I like to ask for.

I went to kill a spider last night, caught my toe on the hem of my pants, and ultimately broke my foot. It will be casted on Wednesday, if they don’t need to put a plate and screws in it. What does this mean? It means no running…obviously, but the bigger issue – no driving. Wow, does this limit what I can do.

I wanted to argue with the doctor – I wanted to say “no, I can drive…you don’t understand, I work part time…driving my children places is what I do”. But there is no arguing about it…I saw the xray (I have a souvenir copy of the pictures), I broke my foot. I cannot drive.

I am realizing my limits. Which I imagine is something I will do slowly over the next month.

I have really taken pride in accomplishments in the past couple years, pride in losing weight, pride in running like I do, pride in getting my children all the places they need to go when they need to be there. I was “taking it back”, and I used that phrase to describe self transformation more than once.

What a humbling experience to have to ask for help.

I’m afraid to become a problem for those that will be driving me around. I’m afraid the weight is going to come back with the inability to exercise. I’m afraid of failing at meeting one of my new years resolution goals. And I’m terribly disappointed to have to miss the 4 races that Nathan and I had signed up together to do this fall.

I am trying to stay positive about it. There are WAY worse things than a broken foot. WAY worse. It is what it is…and it is fixable. It’s just not easy.

A couple easy ones…

1)I resolve to read one more book this year than I read last year. This year, in order to best last year’s number, I need to read 41.

2)I resolve to exercise in some form at least 306 days this year. Last year’s number 305.

Bringing us to number 3.

3)This is the hard one.

First a confession – I have an anxious personality. I am a worrier. I fret. It is one of the things I wish I could change about myself.

I want to worry less in 2012.

One example…We recently signed up for the Warrior Dash – this crazy, intense 5K…Will worrying about it do me any good? Absolutely not.

I want to be rid of the anxiety I have over it.

This is what I’m saying now…

First of all…never count your chickens before they’re hatched. The “easy ones” that I claimed I’d have no problem finishing – I’ve been fighting almost as hard for the first one as I have any of them.

Who knew that so much of life would get in the way of me reading 41 books this year? I have, as of Saturday, finished 32, leaving me with only 9 to finish in 4 months. However…I start Public Library Management 2 on Wednesday (the second half of a librarian certification program), and last year when I took the first half, I didn’t read a book for fun in 8 weeks. I’m coming to the realization I may have to try this one again next year. Hoping not, but we’ll just have to see.

It isn’t for lack of good reading material…evident by the stack of books by the bed that are almost as tall as the bed. And the husband just shakes his head every time I bring home another one.

Resolution number 2 – I’ve been very successful so far at this one. The number of days I haven’t worked out this year so far are less than 10. I think this one, I’ll manage to accomplish.

With this part of the New Year’s plan also came the renewed sense of purpose behind all the working out – to get rid of the extra weight. Last time I posted a photo, it was this one

…and I’m posting a new one here. I still am at a point where I hate photos of myself – I’m working on that. This is one I hate the least from this summer. It isn’t a stellar picture, but I tried to have my 6 year old take some of me to post the other day…and those turned out, well…we’ll just say not so good.

I had made an unspoken goal for myself to lose another 20 pounds before doing the warrior dash (coming up quickly!) and I’m glad to say I accomplished that…plus lost a few more before they found me again. I’m still not quite where I want to be for good. But I have hit the “normal” weight range for my height and age at least once, which has been a long time goal. Now, just to stay there.

I even think I’m doing fairly well (for me) on number 3. Perhaps I should ask the opinion of those around me for their input on how my anxiety level has been. There are certainly days where it is just through the roof and I have a hard time handling about anything. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that there are just situations I have no control over, and all I can do is be prepared the best I can, and see what happens. Easier said than done, but I’m trying.

And the warrior dash…I still have some anxiety…I think it stems from fear of embarrassment more than anything else. But our team assures me we are all in it together and all in it just for fun, and maybe we’ll even capture some of those fun moments on camera to share with you all!

All in all, I’m glad to say the update isn’t all bad…and while I’m thinking about it, I’ve got 4 months, I should get a jump on getting next year’s goals all lined up. Yeah right, I’ll still be thinking about it on New Year’s Eve…I can guarantee you that.

They were getting ready to pour the concrete ceiling in these pictures. We were told that once poured, they would leave the ceiling jacks in place for 21 days to let the concrete cure. In the United States, it takes 28 days, but because of the heat of the Haitian sun, it would take a few less in Haiti.

This is also the day we went to the new mountaintop property to help lay out the foundation for a new building. Hands and Feet has hopes that this will be a facility for the older kids to gain a skill or trade before they are turned out into Haitian society. They are really doing some fantastic things with these kids – not only taking care of their current needs…but also helping them plan for a future with the savings accounts they set up for them, and now planning to help them learn a trade to support themselves once they leave. Again – the vision is amazing.

(laying out the foundation with string)

(clearing the path for the string)

(and Beth…pretty proud of herself after she moved this massive rock)

When we came down from the mountain, we did spend some quality time with the kids. Lauren (the art intern) had been wanting to do this string art with the kids…a map of Haiti that the kids would paint, then use nails to outline the map, and finally wrap string around those nails.

I was really impressed at how much they all got into it. It was a good afternoon…spent helping them finish their crafts. She is doing some amazing things with them this summer. I was just reading her Facebook posts the other day…she’s got them making jewelry, making journals, painting on old t-shirt canvases, and making face molds. (yet to be determined what those are being used for). The intention…not only to give them a creative outlet and fun summer activities, but also to be able to sell something to the mission groups that come that these kids have made.

Hands and Feet is doing some wonderful things for these kids. I mentioned the mountaintop site before, and how they’re hoping to use it as a skill building facility for their older kids, but they’re also doing things at all of the sites to help promote responsibility and also teach them budgeting and help them keep learning, even in the summer.

One example at Grand Goave was the store. For each time the kids help with something (dishes, cleaning their rooms, etc) they are rewarded with points. Once every couple of weeks, Angie will take things from the donations the mission groups bring with them (flashlights, water shoes, sunglasses, costume jewelry, candy, toys, etc) and assign them point values. The kids then have the opportunity to “buy” things with their points, or they can save them for a bigger, more “expensive” item. What I thought was great was that she would tell them how many points they had available, and they would then need to figure out what they wanted and then determine how many points they had left, and if they could purchase more or if they needed to wait until they had earned more points first. So, it had not only a reward aspect, but a teaching one as well.

It was with sad hearts that we had to pack up and leave on Saturday morning. Sad hearts only because the time spent there went so quickly, and I knew it would most certainly be an adjustment coming home again to the normalcy of daily life here.

We couldn’t leave without a few final photos though.

(me Emmanuel and Egenn)

(me and Chadieu)

(and Odlin and myself…this little guy and I had quite the time playing “Red Hands” one night…those kids are all impressively good at it, and they slap hard too! There are a few I wouldn’t play with after the first time i got caught by one of their hits…like Chadieu in the picture above this one! I’m pretty sure Odlin took it easy on me…which I appreciated, and so did my hands!)

(one final photo of our group before leaving the site in Grand Goave and heading on another open air ride to Port Au Prince. I did get smart on the ride back…I wore a bandana to cover my head and ended up with hair that felt much less like straw than the trip in, and probably saved myself from a head-sunburn as well.)

Some of my favorite things about Haiti…and those things that I miss terribly, even after being home for a month.

The laid back atmosphere. Everything is done on Haitian time…meaning they may tell you you’re going to do something at noon…but it could be 1 or 1:30 before you get around to it. I only wish my schedule could be like that here sometimes…if I was being overly productive at home…i could push back going to work until I got around to it. Somehow, I don’t think that would go over too well…maybe if I explained to Beth that I was on Haitian time, she’d let it go??

Haitian pancakes (which were actually a mix from Walmart.  I only wish I knew what they did to them to make them so amazing…I actually still have dreams about those pancakes),

Open air truck riding (while it made us gritty and our hair resemble straw, there is really nothing like experiencing a country through sight AND smell),

The openness and acceptance of the kids we met. They meet new groups of people every week and open themselves up to them and invite them into their world. It’s a beautiful thing.

I even came to appreciate the hot. You wake up and get out of bed and would be sweating already. I threw the “diet” plan out for the week, and ate whatever I wanted, and by sweating everything off, I managed to only gain a fraction of a pound, which came right back off plus some by the next weigh in.

The title of this post — the end…or is it just the beginning — I think it’s the latter. I can say with certainty that this trip will not be my last to Haiti. I loved every minute of being there. Every minute – whether donning my swimsuit to play in the ocean, or sweating my behind off painting the rack on the deuce…every minute was a blessing to me. I just hope that somewhere along the line, when I was being blessed in so many ways, I made someone’s day a little brighter by being there.